Brad Ackerson
Brad Ackerson
Brad is a third-year student from Fredericton who is majoring in film production and history. This is his second year with The Bruns and first as Features Editor. He is passionate about storytelling in all its forms and hopes to use his new position to share a wide variety of the most compelling stories from campus and around the city. In his spare time you can often find him hanging out at The Cellar, checking out local bands downtown or binge-watching Black Mirror for the millionth time.
April 1, 2020

Satire: Things to Do (Social isolation edition)

Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash

Puff n’ Paint w/ the Prez!

When: April 20, 4:20 pm

Where: In the alley by Dooley’s downtown (Twitch.tv)

Looking to one-up his predecessor’s infamous farewell rave, The Maz himself, our guy Paul, is celebrating his first year as President by combining his two great passions—watercolor painting and dabbing homemade shatter—for one great event! Puff n’ Paint w/ the Prez was originally supposed to take place in the alley by the Dooley’s downtown, behind the dumpster—however, the event will now be livestreamed on Paul’s Twitch channel in order to comply with social distancing. Organizers say Paul will lead a tutorial on painting fun farm animals in watercolor while showcasing products from his new line of homemade cannabis extracts. 

Hold a Séance

When: Midnight, next full moon

Where: In a basement or attic

We all could all use a friend right now. Luckily, holding your very own private séance can be a way to make some interesting new friends without putting yourself or others at risk by leaving your home! The great thing about spirits is they are immune to Coronavirus, so there is no need to panic when you feel your new buddy’s cold breath on the back of your neck while you sleep. Loneliness ain’t shit when you’ve got friends who will always be with you. Forever

Master the Blade

When: There’s no time like the present

Where: Any room without children

While they read books, you study the blade. While they miss their friends, you study the blade. While they await the arrival of their SkiptheDishes order, you study the blade. While they sleep, you study the blade. While they mock you for spending the last of your money on a decorative katana, you study the blade. While they live in fear, you do not—for you have studied the blade.

Like what you read? Give this article a share.
From a quick tweet to a Facebook post, show how much you enjoyed this story.
Related Articles