Ibukun Keyamo
Ibukun Keyamo
October 24, 2020

Hogwarts House Movie Recommendations

Graphic by Josh Vandenborre

The television is one of the many muggle inventions left out of Hogwarts. Which is a shame, because now we have to use the Netflix predictive algorithm to figure out what to watch, and that seems almost magical. However, why not let the Sorting Hat be your guide for a night or two? To make your life a little easier – and maybe a little more interesting– here are action, drama, and sci-fi movie recommendations for you, based on your Hogwarts house! 


HUFFLEPUFF

“You might belong in Hufflepuff, 

  where they are just and loyal. 

Those patient Hufflepuffs 

are true and unafraid of toil.”

° ACTION: National Treasure (2004)

This Walt Disney movie will bring out the daring side of Hufflepuffs. The movie contains messages of the importance of staying true to your personal beliefs and of honour. It’s an action movie but isn’t too gory, which will be perfect for a Hufflepuff.

° DRAMA: Don’t Think Twice (2016)

Friendship, loyalty, and weathering the storm – everything Hufflepuffs hold dear in one movie. The drama is also filled with humour, and you’ll find yourself laughing more than once.

° SCI-FI: Critters (1986)

Yes, it’s campy and cheesy and filled with bad haircuts, but, regardless, this sci-fi movie is a must-see for a Hufflepuff. 


RAVENCLAW

“You might be in wise old Ravenclaw, 

if you have a ready mind. 

Where those of wit and learning

 will always find their kind.”

° ACTION: Memento (2000)

This movie uses a non-linear storyline with two different sequences of scenes interwoven throughout the film, and it experiments with moving between black-and-white and colour filming. Then, when the meaning of everything you’ve just watched is revealed, you’ll be shocked. Memento is practically the perfect Ravenclaw film.

° DRAMA: Dead Poets Society (1989)

This film is the only drama that could fit in this slot. No drama captures so painfully, so beautifully, what it means to be a young intellectual in a world that doesn’t value art or beauty anymore. No true Ravenclaw can watch this and not cry.

° SCI-FI: Primer (2004)

This film, like any Ravenclaw, is not easy to understand. It requires multiple viewings in order to rearrange the plot and understand this complicated puzzle.


SLYTHERIN

“Perhaps in Slytherin, 

where you’ll make your real friends. 

Those cunning folk 

use any means to achieve their ends!”

° ACTION: Fight Club (1999) 

The character of Tyler Durden takes on the cunning, ambitious side of the often morally-complex Slytherin house, even though many of the other characters exhibit the brilliance and bravery of certain other houses. Durden, who kidnaps, bombs, and attempts to kill to achieve his goal, would, like Draco Malfoy, definitely have been thrown in Slytherin before the Sorting Hat even touched his head. The metaphor for toxic masculinity that permeates the film is the perfect way to demonstrate the duality of Slytherin.

° DRAMA: Fracture (2007)

A young star prosecutor who will stop at nothing to get to the top, a wealthy engineer who shoots his wife when he discovers she’s having an affair and then defends himself in court, and the dead wife’s policeman lover who is determined to put the husband in jail for murder. Need I say more?

° SCI-FI: The Martian (2015)

Slytherins aren’t all blind ambition, they are about using whatever is at hand to achieve their goals. So, all Slytherins will appreciate a sci-fi movie about one man’s resourcefulness in the face of insuperable odds. When Mark Watney finds himself stranded on Mars, he relies on his own ingeniousness to stay alive. 


GRYFFINDOR

“You might belong in Gryffindor, 

where dwell the brave at heart. 

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry 

set Gryffindors apart.”

° ACTION: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (2016)

Although the Fantastic Beasts movies star Newt Scamander, a Hufflepuff, the story definitely suits a Gryffindor. Newt goes against a controversial government and the threats of an old, dangerous wizard. Sound familiar?

° DRAMA: To Be Or Not To Be (1942)

Set just before the 1939 Nazi Germany invasion, this drama is all about adventure and, of course, lots of interesting twists that will keep any Gryffindor glued to their screen.

° SCI-FI: The Last Days of American Crime (2020)

A bank robber leads a crew of bank robbers to pull off one final heist before the government turns on a mind-altering signal that will wipe out crime forever. It’s definitely not the typical Gryffindor movie, but not everybody is good. Graham Bricke exhibits bravery and determination throughout the movie, and that is why this sci-fi movie made the list.


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